ITACHI:  The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by ZGMF-X9999GenesisOmega
Summary: Want a very powerful unit to kick ass? Get the ITACHI UCHIHA unit, and come look in the manual for its uses.


**CONGRATULATIONS!**

You are now the proud owner of an ITACHI UCHIHA unit! To master the full potential of your clan killer/Akatsuki member, read the following instructions on the manual guide.

Technical Specifications:

Name: Itachi Uchiha (alias the clan killer)

Age: 18 (20 in Shippuden edition)

Place of Manufacture: Hidden Leaf Village

Height: 175.2 cm

Weight: 57.1 kg

**Your Itachi Uchiha comes with the following accessories:**

One Leaf hitai-ate

One Akatsuki cloak

One set of Uchiha clan clothes (which may still be packed for safekeeping)

One set of purple nail polish

One Akatsuki ring

Be very careful when opening a box with an ITACHI UCHIHA unit inside! The said unit may mistake you for anything snake-like.

**Programming:**

Your ITACHI UCHIHA unit is very useful in many ways, but here's the main uses of the said unit:

Ninja: Graduated as number one from the Academy, and mastering the Sharingan at a very early age, as well as being promoted to Chunin at age 10. Deploy your said unit in any ranking mission, whether it is D-rank, or even S-rank mission.

Bodyguard: Your ITACHI UCHIHA unit would be highly useful if you're an important figure. The said unit can use its Sharingan to detect any intruders by looking on to their chakra.

Interrogator: The ITACHI UCHIHA unit may also make a good interrogator, by simply capturing any random person, then sic the said unit with the Mangekyo Sharingan. The psychological effects would be highly useful, if you're a Chief of Police, or the military.

Clan Killer: This unit specializes in killing almost every member of any clan. Just ask him to kill your annoying clan members.

Detector: With the real uses of the Sharingan, your ITACHI UCHIHA unit can avoid getting its body taken over by any snake-like creeps, particularly the OROCHIMARU units.

**Your ITACHI UCHIHA unit comes in following modes:**

Emotionless (default)

Smart and Cold

Loyalty (default)

Killer (locked)

Torturer (locked)

Your ITACHI UCHIHA unit is usually emotionless, as the Emotionless mode says it all.

Loyalty mode is triggered when the ITACHI UCHIHA unit interacts with the rest of the AKATSUKI DELUXE PACK. Never mistake the S-Criminal unit pack for a MOBILE SUIT PACK WITH THE SAME NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Oowashi and Shiranui)

Killer mode is triggered when the ITACHI UCHIHA unit goes on killing everyone in his own clan, thereby triggering its Clan Killer abilities.

If you want someone you hate suffer, sic the said unit in Torturer mode by simply asking the ITACHI UCHIHA unit to activate its Mangekyo Sharingan, which in turn will use the Tsukuyomi.

**Relations to primary units:**

AKATSUKI DELUXE PACK: The AKATSUKI DELUXE PACK comes in with the package of other AKATSUKI units, especially a KISAME HOSHIGAKI unit. The ITACHI UCHIHA will interact well with them, although the courtesy is one way.

**Relations to other units:**

NARUTO UZUMAKI: The ITACHI UCHIHA unit along with the KISAME HOSHIGAKI unit would be assigned to capture the fox boy unit. Make sure the said unit brings back the fox boy unit unharmed.

KAKASHI HATAKE: This unit would lose the Sharingan showdown to your ITACHI UCHIHA unit. Just simply lock up the two said units in a room, and watch as the former unit getting his ass visually kicked by the latter unit.

SASUKE UCHIHA: DANGER! Keep all ITACHI UCHIHA units away from the SASUKE UCHIHA units! Although the ITACHI UCHIHA unit would rough up and break the SASUKE UCHIHA unit's wrists. No biggie, unless you don't want the ITACHI UCHIHA unit dead!!!!!!!!!!

OROCHIMARU: This unit would try to take over the body of the ITACHI UCHIHA unit, and that is when the Detector ability comes in handy! But all the same, keep all ITACHI UCHIHA units away from the OROCHIMARU units!

Cleaning:

Your ITACHI UCHIHA unit must be bathed clean, with no odors! Let the said unit wash by himself. Do not dry clean! Do not force wash the said unit!

Energy:

Give the ITACHI UCHIHA unit lots and lots of Vitamin A based veggies, such as carrots and squash, as the said unit's eyesight can be a problem due to the side effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan.

FAQ's:

Q: I want to know if my ITACHI UCHIHA unit can defeat a NEJI HYUUGA unit in a duel?

A: Let's see. Prodigy fights! HYUUGA vs UCHIHA! We don't know, but with the NEJI HYUUGA unit's destiny garbage speech spouted every battle, the said speech is useless against the ITACHI UCHIHA unit. Overall, your ITACHI UCHIHA will defeat the NEJI HYUUGA unit with a Mangekyo Sharingan, using Tsukuyomi. Be sure the world of Tsukuyomi is a replay of the HIZASHI HYUUGA UNIT's death, or the stabby-stabby torture.

Q: My ITACHI UCHIHA unit is being chased by a SASUKE UCHIHA unit and a NARUTO UZUMAKI unit! How can I prevent that from happening?

A: Well, did you purchase the said unit Shippuden Edition? Well, that's your problem. All you have to do, is sic some random stuff from other anime.

Q: My ITACHI UCHIHA unit and my KISAME HOSHIGAKI unit smelled like toad stuffings. How can I get the stench off?

A: Uh oh. Looks like your two said units ran into a JIRAIYA unit, while tryinf to capture the NARUTO UZUMAKI unit. Get the ITACHI UCHIHA unit to use Amateratsu, to make a James Bond-like get away.

Troubleshooting

Problem: Your ITACHI UCHIHA has his Sharingan eyes distorted, and looked like be was a berserker.

Solution: We seemed to insert a wrong data on the ITACHI UCHIHA. The wrong data is the SEED ability from the Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny Dept. Send the said unit back to us, and we'll exchange it for you. Sorry, no refunds.

Problem: Your ITACHI UCHIHA doesn't go hunt down NARUTO UZUMAKI units anymore.

Solution: The task is given to the PEIN unit. It really is a PEIN in the ass, pun intended. Instead, put the ITACHI UCHIHA unit on alert as the SASUKE UCHIHA unit would try to kill the said unit.

Problem: You try to breed the ITACHI UCHIHA unit with any kunoichi units, but didn't work.

Solution: The ITACHI UCHIHA unit isn't interested in procreation yet. I tried to theorized the possibility of an ITACHI UCHIHA unit pairing with the TEMARI OF THE DESERT unit, but I got a problem about that, seeing as the GAARA OF THE DESERT unit is targeted by the SASORI and DEIDARA units.

**Final Note:**

With proper care, your ITACHI UCHIHA unit will grow to be the best unit anyone will ever have. With a little wacko imagination, you can go to the Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed Destiny Dept., and buy any MS for him. Totally wacko. Keep on trying to experiment the procreation process, and you'll get amny mini clan killer brats!


End file.
